Getting Your Pink Back: Finding Yourself After Motherhood
I first heard the term ‘getting your pink back’ a while ago, but it’s only now—after coming across it again in a recent Stylist article and, of course, being a mum—that it truly resonates.
“There is a popular, if slightly saccharine, metaphor for the process of putting yourself back together after you’ve had a child, which borrows from the idea that female flamingos turn white when they become mothers, with their pink colour gradually returning as their young grow up.”
— Clare Seal, Stylist Magazine
This article explores the emotional and financial cost of trying to find yourself again, including how new mums often spend a fortune on ‘quick fixes’ that don’t work for postpartum bodies.
I’ve spent two years raising my daughter and trying to rebuild myself, and I totally relate to impulse buys—workout programs on Instagram that promise a ‘new me’ in six weeks or a fashion choice that just doesn’t feel right anymore.
An Overnight Transformation
I was relieved to learn that male flamingos also lose their pink when raising young. Unfortunately, I don’t believe the same applies to human dads. Not to diminish the challenges fathers face, but they often get the time and space to ease into their new roles and blossom into the fathers and men they always hoped they would be. For mothers, it’s an all-consuming, overnight transformation.
One day, you’re you—independent, full of passions, routines, and dreams—and the next, you’re someone’s whole world. It’s beautiful. It’s overwhelming. And sometimes, in the chaos of nappies, feedings, and sleepless nights, you realise you’ve lost a part of yourself. Your energy, your spark, your pink—that inner glow that made you feel vibrant and truly you.
Leaving a job that no longer fit was a huge shift—harder than I ever expected. My career was a massive part of my identity. Who was I without it? Letting go was necessary for my new life, but I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be.
Any attempt to reclaim my pre-baby social life has also been tough. I used to be a party girl at heart, but mum guilt and anxiety are real. We all learn the hard way that hangovers and small children don’t mix, yet we test the theory multiple times before getting the message. Now, going out past 9 p.m. is rare. But again, who am I if I'm not owning the dance floor until 2 a.m.?
Finding Colour Again
Painting has been a lifeline, but it wasn’t a quick fix. Eighteen months into motherhood, I was sobbing on my partner’s shoulder, exhausted and feeling lost.
It was around then that I created When Flamingos Dance. I’d been struggling with two paintings—full of beautiful details but lacking life. One exuberant session with a can of pink spray paint later, I finally let go. When I walked into my studio the next day, I actually cried. I aim for complete freedom in my work, and in that moment, I felt it.
I know a painting is done when it makes me feel something—when it reveals a meaning I didn’t consciously set out to create. Every painting I’m truly happy with marks a turning point in my life. Another piece of the jigsaw falls into place—one I didn’t even know was missing.
When Flamingos Dance symbolises finding my colour again. It reminds me that the energy and vibrance I once had are still there. But I’ve also come to realise—and accept—that I’ll never be exactly the same person again. And that’s okay. The new me has so much more to offer.
With each day, I’m getting closer to embracing this version of myself—the one who is blessed with a little human who needs me but is also carving space for her dreams. And, occasionally, staying up past 9!
Your Pink Is Waiting
If you’re feeling lost, wondering when you’ll feel like yourself again, know this: Your pink is still there. It may not look exactly like before, but it’s waiting for you. Here’s how to start finding it:
1. Reconnect with your passions (Even in Small Ways)
Remember what used to light you up? Maybe it was painting, reading, dancing, or long walks with a good podcast. It might feel impossible to dive fully back in, but start small. Read a few pages before bed. Sketch while your baby naps. Dance in the kitchen. Your identity isn’t on pause—it just needs a new rhythm.
2. Ask for help
Many of us feel like we have to do it all, but real strength comes in accepting support. Whether it’s letting your partner take over for an hour, calling on a friend, or hiring a babysitter, allow yourself the breathing room to be more than just “mum.” You are still you, and you deserve time to nurture that.
3. Get dressed for yourself, no one else
It sounds simple, but clothes have power. When was the last time you wore something that made you feel beautiful, fun, or just put together? It doesn’t have to be an extravagant purchase—just something that reminds you of who you are beyond baby wipes and leggings. Maybe it’s bright pink lipstick, a favourite pair of earrings, or a dress that makes you feel like you again.
4. Find your tribe
Motherhood can be isolating, but you’re not alone. Seek out communities of women who get it—whether it’s an in-person mum group, an online forum, or friends who remind you that you’re more than just “mum.” Conversations beyond nappies and sleep schedules can be a game-changer.
5. Prioritise your well-Being
Your physical and mental health matter. Fuel your body with nourishing food, move in ways that feel good, and—if possible—carve out time for rest. Even small shifts, like a five-minute morning stretch or drinking more water, can make a difference in how you feel.
6. Dream again
It’s okay if your dreams have shifted since becoming a mother, but don’t let them disappear. What do you want for yourself in this next chapter? Whether it’s a new career, a creative pursuit, or simply feeling more you, give yourself permission to want more. You are still allowed to dream.
7. Be kind to yourself
You are evolving, and that’s okay. Finding yourself again isn’t about going back to who you were—it’s about embracing who you are now, with all the wisdom, strength, and love that motherhood has given you. It’s about painting a new version of yourself, one that still sparkles with joy and creativity.
So here’s your reminder: You are not just a mother. You are a woman, a force, a soul with depth, passion, and dreams. And you deserve to feel like you again. Your pink is still there—it’s just waiting for you to reclaim it.
Krissy xx